Loved Ones and Chronic Pain

"Loved Ones and Chronic Pain","

The reaction of friends and family.
 According to them, there had to be more tests to have, there had to be another alternative treatment to try.


I was confused and a bit, very angry.


How dare they accuse me of giving up?

Now I'm a bit further on in my journey, I can now understand that it isn't that they were judging me, they were reflecting their own fears.
 Can you imagine seeing a loved one going through something major and upsetting, and not be able to do anything about it?

As much as your friends and family are worried about you, their issues cannot help but surface.
 Now I've accepted that dancing isn't going to be a habit I'll be able to do any more, but what about her? Who is she going to go out with now? Change is always hard, when you change, the relationship with friends and family with inevitably change too.
 As our change is unexpected and we are in pain, our loved ones may not communicate how they are feeling because they don't want to appear unsympathetic and selfish.
 She said 'I wish we could just go out, and not have to worry about looking after you.


I was so hurt, but when I thought about it, why wouldn't she want her friend back? I wanted my old life back!

The solution? Communication.
 Think about what it is you want to say to them.
 (. only if it is though!).
 Now communication is a two way street, so make sure you listen to what they have to say too, and let me warn you, you may not like what you hear! Pain can make us selfish sometimes, and I'll hold my hand up and say there have been times I've taken my friends and family for granted, and not said thank you for everything they have been doing for me.
 There may have to be compromises, but it's so much better that you come to a decision together, than assume the other person will know what it is you want and need when you haven't said a word.


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